TAMAR
Tamar-Episode 28
©Amah's Heart
After a long talk with Lord Reese and lady Phin, they finally understand the ways of God and fully accepted him, I was so happy for them, lord Reese said
“thank you Leah, and thank you for taking your time to explain God to us, we have always wanted to know about him but the girl who was suppose to do so died, it was unfortunate and we all felt her absence, she has the kind of aura you have around you, Leah, but I understand now that she is in a better place. Heaven is a place to be after this earth, thank you for filling the gap for Tamar and picking up where she stopped, we are grateful to you and your brother Tedran, and I wish I can see your father, whom you said is called Lord Cozam and also a physician, we will be grateful to him, you came from a physician family, but you do not depend on drugs but on God, the maker, by tomorrow we will burn all the scared god we kept in this house, we will put everything that is contrary to our new faith aside and embrace Jehovah fully, you said we need to be baptise with water, we are available anytime you are ready to do so or Abel, Abel is also a real servant of God, whatever we need to do just let us know Leah, so that we can do so, you said all my sin has being washed away, all my ignorance in bowing to different god of this land has being nailed at the cross, that God being so kind and merciful has accepted me just as I am, me and my wife. he will never count our sins against us anymore, now I’m a new man in Christ so also is my lovely wife, am so grateful that it was never late, God did gave me a chance to hear this and to accept him before dying, if I have died before you came, I would have ended up in another tormented place, but now I know the truth and I have seen the light I can die peacefully without fear.
I later ran out to search for Abel that evening, my heart was filled with joy as I ran along the passage, I suddenly bump into Vim and loose my balance, I was almost getting to the ground when he caught me and gently drew me up, I freeze at his touch, he held my hands without saying a word, just looking at my Khimar as if he can see through me, I shake my hand reminding him that he was still holding me, he quickly released me and started apologizing,
“Pardon me Lady Leah, sincere apologies, you seem so excited…what is the good news
“Yes, your parents have accepted Christ and embraced the light, I feel so happy for them, how about you…what do you believe in…who do you serve…
“i…i don’t really worship any god, except maybe money which answers everything…but if accepting your God as theirs makes my parents happy then is fine, everyone have to find whatever makes them happy, I don’t want to stop them any more like I did before, all I want is for them to be happy…
“are you happy…have you found your own happiness, does money make you happy, of all the money you have and the properties and power you own in this kingdom…do they make you happy…why don’t you want to experience this unspeakable joy, this undiluted peace that is found in Jesus…my lord, money does not answer to all things, if it does your father would have being healed long time ago before I came down, if it does the lady you speak of, Tamar, would have accepted your proposal and be married to you long time ago, if money really answers to all things the dead will be alive and no sickness or sadness will be found among the rich, God alone is the answer to everything things, even after you die to the world you will live for him, so what exactly is your fear with the true God, what is keeping you away…
“Your God took the only woman I ever loved so deeply, when I thought he saved her from the den by not allowing the lions to eat her…he still allowed her to die, this lady am talking about is ready to die for this god you talk about, she was a strong Christian, she loved your god yet he allowed her to die, what kind of god does that, she wouldn’t have died if she has married me, if she has listened to me and chose another god for herself, how do you want me to worship this god that watch his own people die, I was here that day, giving her chance and hoping she will change her mind, I was still angry but I couldn’t go back to her after she turned me down, a servant from Mandioh came with the news that Mandioh sent for me, he has a good surprise for me, I never knew It was that beast of a woman they calls Okra, that teamed up with Mandioh and my sister to kill Tamar, when I arrived at the place, Okra was all nice and full with wicked laughter as she tried to give me a cup of a grape wine but I turned it down, I knew she was up to something, she laughed and said I will love the surprise she has for me and I will come to understand that she will not allow any slave to humiliate a strong son of the soil, well I did not understand what she meant, even Mandioh and the rest of the people where all laughing, I wondered why there were so much people at Mandioh’s place, it only means one thing he was feeding a Christian or an infidel to his lions, I got scared as I wonder who could be in there, as they led me to the opened lion’s den and when I looked inside, I saw two ladies, at first I didn’t know that she was the one, but when realization hit me, it was like a thunder strike to my heart, I almost jump into the den but I was held back, I was shouting her name, asking her to pretend to be dead so the lion’s won’t hurt her, do you what she did, instead she spread her hands wide, as if she was asking the lion’s to come and feed on her, my body went cold, I swear and curse, I wanted her out but Mandioh said it was too late and when I looked again, it was really too late because the lion’s were already on her, digging their dirty sharp fangs into her, and with every struck from the wicked animals on her it was as if they were also stroking me, I became another man as i caught Okra who was running away, I bundled her up and pushed her into the den, Tamar won’t be the only one to die, anybody that has a hand in her death must pay with their own life, and Okra was the first then Mandioh follows, the physicians couldn’t save Tamar even her God disappointed her…I still feel so much anger anytime I remember the story, is sad Leah, very sad, and at the end I started blaming myself, and that’s where the guilt still eats deeply at me because I told her to her face and also told my sister let her god have her, I told my sister that I wash my hands off Tamar, and she took my words to Okra and they held onto my word and eventually killed her, I killed with my own word, not Mandioh’s lion but I, I killed Tamar with my words, and it…is…i
Vim suddenly stopped speaking as tears glitters in his eyes, he quickly walk past me, and I stood as he walk into his chamber, I breathed deeply before going to search for Abel, when I did not see Abel, I went to Tedran’s chamber
“so I am are going back tomorrow, by next week I and Shamara will be married, I wish you will be there…I don’t think this people will allow you to go, especially lord Vim, he likes you, he actually told me that, he was asking me if you are married or engaged to be married, and I told him that you are not, he said he wish to see your face, he doesn’t mind the burnt scar on your face which makes you to cover up with the khimar, all that matters is that he just wants to look at your face, he said you remind him of someone…so Tar…sorry, Leah, I’m trying to get use to calling you that, how long will you keep on with this before you reveal your true self them…
“As long as it takes for God to direct me to do so…I asked him to guide me in wisdom and God has being truly good, the master and mistress finally accepted Christ, i bumped into Vim on the way and he can’t stop talking about my past life, is difficult for him to believe in God….
“Then make him… he likes you, as a Leah, even though he still carries the hurting memories of Tamar…
“I can’t still have anything to do with him, he doesn’t believe yet, and I can’t be unequally yoked with him, if it means saying no to him again then I will do it all over, he needs to come down from his high stairs, God needs to humble him, I can’t do more than my power, he is God’s property and at the right time, God will bring him to himself…
I later went down to Zity’s room, she smiled as she opened up her chamber and I stepped in, I sat beside her, her son was with Lord Reese and lady Phin, his grandparents in their open chamber,
“My lady, I know how difficult life must have being, I was told you lost your husband to accident…
“yeah…I deserve whatever that has befallen me, Leah, I have done so many terrible things, my husband died because of me, he got angry with me for sending my personal maid Tamar, and Shamara a slave girl who had affair with him to the lions, he said why will I do such a wicked thing, but if Tamar has listened to me, she will still be alive, I told Tamar to just pick any god of the land so that she can live but she refused, as for shamara, I wanted her to be gone, not like I wanted her killed but she joined Tamar in her belief and they both died, and my husband was so angry and rode out with his chariot, he fell off the chariot and broke his neck which lead to his death, I was pregnant for my son, people blame me for his death, my brother blames me for Tamar’s death and has sworn not to forgive me…I use to be terrible, my late husband was the second man I was married to, the first was his father and I treated him so bad before leaving him for his son, i…I even…even lost the baby I had for him, the baby died…after birth…if I tell you all the terrible things I have done, you will want me to be stoned to death, and Abel has really helped me, since I returned home, I can’t go out into the street without people talking about me, I can’t even talk with my only brother, even my parents blames me for Tamar’s death, nobody want to hear me out, it was only Abel, I feel terrible being in my chamber most part of the day, sometimes just alone while my son plays with my parents, I’m glad they love him, Abel lead me to Christ, I use to think of suicide, I wanted to kill myself back then after everything came crumbling, but Abel pulled me out of it, he made me to know God, now I understand why Tamar could not deny God in the presence of her enemies, I understand why Tamar was strong willed and refuse to bow to any god. Thank you Leah for bringing my parents to light, Abel is a seer, he ones told me that a lady on a khimar will come and pray for father and he will receive his healing, he said it one of those days at the fountain, when he is teaching me the word of God. And when you came it was as if his prophecy came to life, he said the lady has an uncommon identity but I will see my past in her, I did not understand but all that matters is that God used you to heal father and help them to embrace Christ… that I’m so grateful for that, my parents coming to know God, I’m ashamed of my past, I feel real terrible when I think of it, Tamar died because of me, I told a person I wasn’t suppose to tell about her faith and she took it upon herself to destroy Tamar, Tamar saved my son, I could have killed him but he is alive today because Tamar talked me out of abortion, which I thought was a way to pay Chakan back for having affair with a slave….she was God sent to me and yet I did not realize that until she was gone, Chakan also died because of me but Abel said that I shouldn’t worry that Chakan is saved, but sometime I can’t help worrying, I wish I have stayed with my first husband who is married to one of his maid, they are both strong in the Lord that’s what Abel told me, I feel bad for some bad choices I made, especially I was opened and think the person I truly call friend was really a friend, I don’t blame anybody for whatever I am passing through or I have passed through I blamed myself. Abel said I should keep praying for Vim, and I have being doing that and hoping someday he will learn to forgive me, I wish I can bring back Tamar to live so that he can love me like his little sister, just as the old time, I don’t have any friend…I need a good friend and also a believer…so I plead with you…can you be my friend Leah, I know you were involve in a fire accident that left you with a burnt scar on your face which makes you uncomfortable, people may probably judge you because of your appearance, but I don’t really care about that, your look doesn’t count for me, all I need is a hand to hold and somebody ready to listen like you are doing now, I only got one friend Abel who is not always around, he is the only one that did not judge me, every other person was throwing blames on me and I know I deserve it all, so can you be my friend Leah, I want to start making good choice and live with the mind that Christ has paid for all my stupidity at the cross….
We talked for some time and I assured her that she can find a true friend in me, Zity was happy as I left her chamber To meet Abel who just returned, he began to smile as I came to sit with him.
“all I want to do right now is to draw you close and give you a hug like you deserve, I have missed you, I hope you are not wondering why I am so cordial with you…
“I did not wonder for long, because I know God must have reviewed it all to you, you already know who I am, they said you have the ear of God…Adolfo said so too, I must commend you for all you have being doing in people’s life, everyone speak greatly of you Abel…
“I thanked the lord, him alone deserve the glory, I do the work of my father in heaven, and I am more proud of you Tamar, I know everything, God reveals it to be even before it happened, I told you to watch and pray because trial was coming for you and I weep ahead of time even before it came, God revealed it all, and how you, the physician and his son came to know Christ, God showed me when you embarked on a journey of coming down here, I saw it like a dream when you stopped at the inn with Tedran and passed the night there, I saw you at the place of the woman who has no husband or child of her own but children cloud around her, and one of them belongs to Zity, and I was inside my chamber when God ask me to go to the gate that you are here. Welcome home my lady, you fought hard and came out stronger…I have being expecting you for long, I’m glad to see you again, your greater reward is in heaven, for you have fought a good fight of faith, you have finished the race and kept the faith, there is a store for you a crown of righteousness, which the lord the righteous judge will award to you and not only to you but also to all who have long for his appearing. I feel so proud you and my joy was so full when I heard you refuse to deny God for the gods of this land or for a glamorous wedding with Vim. You chose God over everything and God will never disappoint you, he will always be there when you call on him. For he said whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my father who is in heaven.
It was a pleasant evening with Abel, and right there I felt God’s presence around us, I told Abel about the master and mistress accepting Christ and he said he will baptise them, I asked Abel if he will ever get married and he surprised me with his reply
“yes, and soon, God has shown me who to marry, at first it was funny but who I am I to doubt God’s judgement, I am building her up and making her stronger in the Lord, her past maybe terrible but God loves her and God is turning her imperfection to his glory, I have not reveal my intentions to her yet but waiting untilGod will gives me a go ahead, everything I do depends on God’s approval, I thought I will never get married but God’s ways are not my way.
We talked about other things, even talked about Vim, and Abel told me Vim needs to come to Christ and is my job to make sure he does, but I don’t really know how to make Vim understand but I prayed for God’s grace, I told Abel by tomorrow I will be visiting the merchant after I bid Tedran goodbye, Tedran has to go so that he can be married to Shamara. We talked into the deep evening and later Zity came out and sat with us while Abel changed the discussion into God’s word before we bid each other good night
But I still I wonder who Abel was talking about, who is the person God ask him to marry, I have asked him who that maybe and he said at the right time I will know if I haven’t yet, could it be Zity, Abel will be Zity’s third husband if he marries her, I thought God will give him a woman that is pure, a woman who has not defy herself with the ways of the land just like Abel is, but I know God’s way are not our way, and his plans are higher than ours. I hope I’m not getting ahead of myself, what if not Zity , but who then that be…let God’s will be done.
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